I Can Justify My Purchase Of $300 Pajamas

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Guest blog by Katrina Byrne

Recently, I spent $300 on a pair of pajamas. I know what you’re thinking–“is she insane?”–because it’s the same thing I thought when I bought them. But read on to see why my decision was justified, and why your judgment is unfair.

Before you dismiss me as some spoiled rich girl, you should know that I earn a pretty middle-class salary, and I’ll be paying off my college loans for years to come. By buying these very lovely long-sleeved spun silk $300 pajamas, I actually spent my entire food budget for a month and a half, and I’ve racked up pretty significant credit card debt as a result. So understand this: I’m not, and never have been, rich.

Before you dismiss me as some fiscally irresponsible young person, you should know that I’m really not all that young. At 29, I’ve been in the workforce for a decade now, and I’ve been working in my chosen field for the past seven years. I have both the age and experience to make smart choices, including the choice to indulge in a nice pair of $300 pajamas.

Before you dismiss me as a materialist who can only find pleasure in superficial goods, you should know that I’m actually very sensitive to the needs of others, and buying these sort of unaffordable $300 pajamas was a way to reward myself for the kind things that I do, and to encourage myself to keep doing them. Just the other day, I held my neighbor’s door open while he struggled to carry four grocery bags at once. Okay, I will admit that this is not a great example. But bear with me, because that was just the first example that came to mind. I’m sure I’ve done other really nice things for other people. Like, one time I was a temp at a non-profit zoo.

Before you dismiss me as a self-indulgent idiot with no self-control, you should know that I thought about this ludicrously expensive pair of $300 pajamas for at least four minutes before I bought them. It is a shame that I didn’t spend longer thinking about it–for example, it’s a shame I didn’t stop to think about how many meals of saltines with peanut butter I could tolerate over the next several weeks–but ultimately, spending half as much as my rent on a pair of $300 pajamas was not an impulsive decision, but one I thought about for as long as it takes to brush your teeth or feed your cat.

Oh my god. My cat. I have to buy food for my cat. Shit. And, wait–OMG! These are dry clean only?! For fuck’s sake, they’re pajamas.

Before you write me off as someone who can’t anticipate the consequences of her actions, you should know that you might actually be right, but I’m already suffering enough over this, okay? So maybe you should shut the fuck up and just be nice.

Katrina Byrne‘s writing has appeared in Elle and Vogue where she justified her purchase of $700 sandals.

Image by saksfifthavenue.