Bob Seger’s ‘Night Moves’ Now Start Around 4, 4:30


ORCHARD LAKE VILLAGE, Mich. — Rock singer-songwriter Bob Seger has announced that these days his “Night Moves” start around 4, 4:30 p.m., according to sources.

“I’m not as young as I used to be, I need to take more naps,” said Seger during a recent concert. “Anymore, my ‘Night Moves’ start right before dinner, which is usually around 4, 4:30 p.m.”

The 68-year-old has had a career spanning five decades, but lately has shown signs of fatigue. During a recent concert in Detroit, Seger asked the audience to “rest their eyes with him for just a few seconds.” 45 minutes later, a roadie for Seger awoke the rock-n-roll legend to a confused crowd.

A source close to Seger says the the two-time Grammy Award–winner usually takes some Alka-Seltzer PM before the show, and that this may be to blame for the incident.

“I’ve always wanted to have sex with Bob Seger,” said concertgoer Mindy Torre. “But I don’t want to be the person responsible for giving Bob Seger a heart attack.”

At press time, Seger was very tired and just decided to take another nap.

Kyle Scanlan will karaoke some “Night Moves” with you. 

Image by tamdotcom.

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Kyle Scanlan grew up in rural southern Illinois and has the vocabulary to prove it. Now he lives in the big fancy city of Chicago, because he tells jokes there. When not telling jokes, he’s usually drunkenly yelling at his television during NBA games. He is a contributor, editor and creator of The Whiskey Journal. He’s not excited about the future.