Bigfoot Sends Blurry Dick Pic


EDGEWOOD, Wash. — New evidence of Bigfoot’s existence has once again appeared, not from the cryptid humanoid being sighted in the wild, but from a dirty text message.

The picture message in question was sent to Rachel McBean, who had met the alleged creature through the popular online dating website OK Cupid.

“We were a match and started messaging, and we really hit it off,” McBean, 22, told reporters. “And then we naturally started texting and thinking of taking things to the next level.”

The young Washingtonian was shocked to discover she might have been flirting with the elusive cryptozoological phenomenon the whole time.

“His name online is B.F.,” said McBean, “and I didn’t think anything of it, or that every picture on his profile is just of densely forested areas. It all seemed normal to me until I received the blurry dick pic. Then I knew something was up. Dicks aren’t normally blurry.”

Sasquatch is famously out of focus in every photo taken of him, so the sext was sent to the Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization for further examination.

BFRO researcher Stan Beezley confirmed the photograph as evidence of Bigfoot. “I mean, it’s a little blurry, but that’s definitely his dick,” Beezley said.

Other scientists have been more skeptical to accept the claim, stating that the dick pic is probably just a photoshop hoax, a misidentification of another animal, or a man in a gorilla dick costume.

Tyler Snodgrass doesn’t online date for fear of being matched with a chupacabra.

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