Biden’s GoFundMe To Go To Space Not Doing Great

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WASHINGTON D.C. — A pouty-lipped Joe Biden told some of his cousins on Thursday that his GoFundMe campaign to send him to outer space is not pulling in as much money as he had hoped, Beltway sources have reported.

“I made a pretty badass video about why I want to go to outer space,” lamented the Vice President. “I really thought putting the first white Vice President in space would be something all the citizens of the world would like to get behind.”

Biden continued: “I’ll probably never get to go now.”

Biden’s youngest cousin Moe Biden said that the VP isn’t giving up and will try a Kickstarter next. Then he will give up.

Check out Ross Kelly’s GoFundMe to pay his rent and get glamour shots of him and his dog.

Image by wikimedia.

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Ross Kelly grew up in St. Louis, MO: the land of a thousand arches. It was here that he never did comedy. He would go on to Southern Illinois, where he started doing stand-up and also started not finishing college. In 2012, he moved to Chicago to pursue more comedy, as well as an opportunity to continue not going to school. He is an original member of The Whiskey Journal team, and can make a pretty amazing hollandaise sauce.