DES MOINES, Iowa — Multiple sources have reported that early this week Facebook user Jake Nelson, 27, was seen posting a Bible verse onto the social media website, just as God had hoped he would.
Citing his strong faith, Nelson had no hesitation prior to making the post, which read “I can do all things trhu [sic] Christ who stregthens [sic] me.”
“I don’t know where I would be without the guidance and protection of the big guy upstairs,” said Nelson. “The least I could do is share his good word with my online community.”
The verse in question was nestled on Nelson’s wall among other recent posts including a FuckJerry meme and Instagram photo of a burger he had eaten the night before.
Many have commended Nelson for his actions. “Sure, the Bible might be one of the most widely circulated texts in the history of mankind, but who knows?” stated Mike Bennet, 29, who works with Nelson. “Maybe there is someone out there who doesn’t know about Philippians 4:13 and also happens to be friends with Jake online.”
Although he has not recently nor ever been in direct contact with God, Nelson is convinced he did the right thing and has no regrets.
“If he wanted to God could strike me down right now,” continued Nelson. “I think it’s pretty obvious that He’s pleased with what I did.”
Through spokespeople at the Vatican, God confirmed that sharing His word via social media has been his intent all along and that he is extremely proud. “If my legacy in this dimensional plane is only Jake’s status update, then it will have been worth it,” God reportedly said.
Joshua Ballew wants God to know this article was just a joke and hope they’re still cool.
Image by facebook, wikimedia.