Kyle Scanlan - The Whiskey Journal

Kyle Scanlan

ROXBURY, Conn. — On Tuesday, Academy Award-winning actor Daniel Day-Lewis announced he would be retiring from acting to train for a new role as a retired actor.

“Daniel Day-Lewis will no longer be working as an actor in order to properly prepare himself for his upcoming role in a feature film as a retired actor,” a spokeswoman for the English star said. “He needs to take all of his creative energy away from acting and put it into more retired guy hobbies, like gardening and fishing.”

According to neighbors, the three-time Oscar winner has been meticulously cutting his lawn multiple times a day.

“At first I was surprised to see someone of his wealth cutting their own lawn,” said the 60-year-old actor’s neighbor Nick Baez. “He was really into it though.”

Baez continued: “He had on a big straw hat with the dress socks to his knees and everything. The guy is a true professional.”

Using the time he would normally spend deep in character as some hyper masculine, brooding protagonist, Day-Lewis plans to instead get really into historical nonfiction, specifically biographies on Abraham Lincoln and books about the first gangs of New York in the 1850s.

Sources close to the famed method actor confirmed he’s also busying himself by researching how to research affordable used RVs that he can use to tour all the National Parks with his wife Rebecca, who is also retired.

At press time, Daniel Day-Lewis was seen screaming at a group of teenagers while drawing an imaginary property line outside his home with a yard stick.

Kyle Scanlan is also a retired actor but not by choice. 

Image by skynews.
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