Apple To Drop Telephone Function From iPhone 6

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SAN FRANCISCO — As the tech world gears up for the release of Apple’s newest iPhone, more and more peeks at the device’s specs are becoming available. The latest announcement: new iPhones will no longer make phone calls.

“Looking strictly at the numbers, the ‘phone’ app simply wasn’t being used,” said Toni Mauser, one of the lead developers for Apple’s iPhone division. “We have all of these millions of terabytes of space, and technicians standing by supporting a network that is totally dormant.”

Apple iCall Station

So what will happen if users need to place an actual telephone call? Apple said it is not oblivious to the potential necessity of making a physical phone call, and said that around the release date of the new device, they will begin installing call stations all over major cities.

“Basically, you will use an iCall station, which will never be more than a block or so away from you, to make phone calls for a small charge,” Mauser said. “There will be a receiver, with which you will talk and listen, and a keypad with numbers zero through nine, which you will use to ‘dial’ the number you wish to call.”

Apple will be repurposing those unused resources to support what they are calling a revolution in personal devices. Although specifics on this “revolution” are hard to come by, Mauser did say their goal is to reduce human interaction by 50%.

Ross Kelly is not available to take your call. But, if you leave a message, he will never listen to it and text you in about a week (but don’t hold him to it).

Image by Business Insider.

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Ross Kelly grew up in St. Louis, MO: the land of a thousand arches. It was here that he never did comedy. He would go on to Southern Illinois, where he started doing stand-up and also started not finishing college. In 2012, he moved to Chicago to pursue more comedy, as well as an opportunity to continue not going to school. He is an original member of The Whiskey Journal team, and can make a pretty amazing hollandaise sauce.