Apple Apologizes After Leaving iTunes Users With No Update For 9 Hours


CUPERTINO, Calif. — Apple released a public apology Monday morning to all iTunes users for taking over nine hours to release its latest software update. Users were both confused and frightened that they hadn’t heard from the company in more than a third of a day. Previously, the longest Apple had gone without updating the software was seven hours, with the average being five hours.

“We know that our customers find comfort in and look forward to iTunes software updates, or as we call them ‘the next little big things,'” said Apple spokesperson Michelle Cassidy. “We regret having taken so long to issue the latest update. We are embarrassed and understand if anyone switched to Android during those nine hours.”

Apple further issued a guarantee that delayed updates would never happen again, as well as offered complimentary Apple logo stickers to anyone who switched to Android.

Ross Kelly will buy anything that starts with i.

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Ross Kelly grew up in St. Louis, MO: the land of a thousand arches. It was here that he never did comedy. He would go on to Southern Illinois, where he started doing stand-up and also started not finishing college. In 2012, he moved to Chicago to pursue more comedy, as well as an opportunity to continue not going to school. He is an original member of The Whiskey Journal team, and can make a pretty amazing hollandaise sauce.