Afro-Physicists Discover Ghetto Superstar In Outer Space’s Detroit Area


HOUSTON — After years of fact checking, NASA officials have released documents from its African American studies department revealing a new class of star that they define as a “Ghetto Superstar.”

“I first noticed the star when my team focused on a disheveled spot right on the edge of Saturn that looked a lot like Detroit,” said Afro-physicist Bernie Shaw. “It was right next to an odd portion of space that we now call Ecorse, Michigan-Sentori.”

The official term “Ghetto Superstar” has caused a great deal of controversy in the media, even prompting the NAAACP (National Association for the Advancement of Aerospace Colored People) to issue a statement, calling it “both distasteful, and nasty-tasting from an ethical standpoint.”

According to Mr. Shaw, the Detroit area of space was once a booming area full of cosmic activity, but now seems to be on the decline. The massive, luminous Ghetto Superstar however shows signs of rising up against its adverse set of circumstances.

“In an effort to capture the imagination of the youth,” Shaw said “we simply typed the scientific classifications of the star into Urban Dictionary. All of our data shows that this gaseous bundle of hope is and always will be a Ghetto Superstar. That is what it is. Coming from afar. Reaching for the stars. We can rely on each other, uh huh. From one corner to another, uh huh.”

Tim Barnes dated Mýa from 1998-2003 and is the Senior Post-Racial Correspondent for The Whiskey Journal.