WEST SUSSEX, UNITED KINGDOM — Gingerly dancing around the subject for the better half of their dinner together, Adele’s boyfriend finally asked her who all these guys are in her songs, sources have confirmed.
Mentioning how exciting it will be to hear the entirety of her new album, Adele’s boyfriend of nearly five years stated that the finished cut of her new single “Hello” is just superb, before asking nonchalantly “Is that song about anyone in particular or…?”
Adele answered him casually, saying the song is about “some guy” she used to know.
“Cool, cool,” her boyfriend responded, and the couple continued eating.
“Does the rest of that album pretty much follow that whole theme then?” he asked a few minutes later. “How do you mean?” Adele said.
“You know, past relationships, other men, you’ve, um, you’ve known,” he answered. “Well,” Adele responded, “That’s really kind of my thing, singing about love and relationships and bittersweet emotion. So most of it follows that, yeah.”
He then nodded his head a few times and took a sip of wine, and the silence resumed.
“It’s funny,” he said after a few minutes. “This is the first album you’ve made since we’ve been together these, oh, five years now. I was kind of wondering who you’d be singing about this time, and I just, I don’t know, it seems like it’s about another guy that you’re really regretful over.”
According to sources close to the situation, Adele looked at her boyfriend and asked him if everything was okay. “Yeah, everything is good,” he said, “but um, what are some of the other titles on the album? Anything like ‘I’m Really Happy Right Now,’ or ‘This Is The Relationship I’ve Been Waiting For?’ Maybe a track called “It’s Great Having A Child With The Man That I Love?’ Or is it all pretty much about these other guys who, presumably, are all people in the past that I’ve never met but seem to keep giving you enough material to write about?”
Adele reportedly sighed deeply and said: “Look, these are the things I like singing about and they’re the things that work with my art. I don’t think people want to hear me sing soulfully about how happy I am. So can we stop talking about this?”
Her boyfriend nodded absentmindedly and asked “But you are happy?”
Adele clenched her jaw, stood up, said “I can’t believe you asked me that,” and left the room.
Adele’s boyfriend reportedly spent the rest of the night listening to Adele’s album 21 and crying.
Quinn Formel had to do a lot research on The Daily Mail for this one.