Acclaimed Chef Puts New Spin On Street Food By Charging $30 For It


CHICAGO — Already the city’s most exciting culinary newcomer and celebrated creative force behind his acclaimed restaurant Il Pomposo, local chef Brandtley Grant is surprising everyone by branching out into the world of street food, showcasing rustic ingredients cooked simply, with a fine-dining twist of costing $30.

“Street food is the purest expression of a culture’s identity, its soul,” Grant said. “We’re talking about goat tacos made with three ingredients on a greasy griddle. The kind of food that explodes with delicious, elemental flavors made from simple, everyday ingredients. I want to keep that down-home authenticity but also put my personal spin on it by charging far more than anyone who traditionally eats this food could ever hope to afford.”

Critics are raving over Grant’s new menu of tacos, sausage rolls, and grilled sandwiches, all with authentic, simple ingredients and Chef Grant’s signature prices that soar as high as $47 for a lengua taco that is, like, a bite and a half maybe.

“We all saw what Brandtley could pull off in a fine dining setting,” said Chicago food critic Annabella Monroe. “But no one thought he’d be able to make street food that expressed his identity as a chef. Well, he sure proved us wrong, because this hot dog costs 38 dollars.”

The acclaimed chef has been celebrated for his trendsetting cooking, and his new street food menu is expected to once again shock the culinary community with its innovative, exciting combination of a worse version of the same food people can get for five bucks at a dozen places and charging a million goddamn dollars for it.

“Some people are saying I can’t expect to just jump into making these classic dishes, with long histories and storied traditions,” said Chef Grant. “And while I admit that I am ignoring decades and even centuries of underappreciated culinary expertise, I’m making up for it by infusing these classic dishes with my own unique skill for selling food at a nearly 1000% profit. And I think that’s worth it.”

Restaurant patrons who have tasted Grant’s street food menu have been singing its praises across social media, raving about how, despite all odds, Grant was able to infuse street food with staggering financial burden.

“This taco doesn’t even have cilantro on it but somehow Brandtley got it to cost $35, what a genius #inspiring,” tweeted local account executive Kyle Bloser after sampling Chef Grant’s new menu, later adding “this hot dog has only onions on it but costs more than a video game #blessed.”

“I’ve always felt that, first and foremost, food is about enforcing a rigid and hierarchical class system,” Chef Grant said. “And for a long time conventional wisdom said that the flavors of street food were incompatible with that vision. They said I was a fool for doing this. Well, who’s laughing now? Not poor people, because they can’t afford it.”

Tom Harrison once saw a burrito that cost over $10 and punched a hole in the sun.

Image by stuart_spivack, janitors.