PALM BEACH, Fla. — In an effort to build and strengthen diplomatic ties between the two nations, President Trump and Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe reportedly enjoyed a KFC State Dinner off a woman’s naked body Wednesday.
“It was a terrific dinner,” Trump said of the four-course meal, which was said to have featured a condiment sampling, two 16-piece Bucket Meals and dessert, all served on top of a “very expensive” nude model. “I think the display really made Prime Minister Abe feel at home and judging by the way he polished off his side of the body, I’d say he enjoyed the meal too. It was a very productive meeting to say the least.”
According to sources, Trump and Abe deliberated over a number of critical issues facing both countries, including Japan’s ongoing napkin crisis, the impending US-China grease trade war, and introducing new finger-lickin’ sanctions on North Korea.
“You know a lot of people don’t understand how many moving parts go into hosting diplomatic dinners like these,” Trump continued. “The advanced fast-food tastings, choosing the right crystal sporks, finding a dynamite model whose belly button can hold eight-ounces of honey mustard. It’s an elaborate and painstaking ordeal, but anytime you can break bread with a foreign leader over a woman like that is truly an honor.”
After finishing their root beer floats, Trump and Abe then posed for a ten-minute photo op while standing over the model, each leader holding one end of a wishbone, a symbol, Trump said, of Japan and America’s joint fortune and prosperity.
At press time, the model was then gifted to Abe by Trump as a souvenir of his visit.
Chad Thurman eats every meal off his own body.