by guest blogger Chet Saltpeter
Listen, the World Trade Center wouldn’t have gone down on September 11th if they had a gun. Sorry if you’re too big a liberal crybaby to accept that. Ever hear of the Bill of Rights? Yeah, there’s a little amendment in there about the right to bear arms. And I guarantee you, if the Twin Towers had been ready to rock with a big-ass AR15, I’m talking a real honker here, 9/11 wouldn’t have happened.
You see, terrorists are cowards. They talk a big game when they’re attacking unarmed civilians who can’t defend themselves. You don’t have a gun and you see a scary guy, you do what they say. You’ll even let them kill you. Think I’m lying? Why don’t you meet me at Ground Zero and say it to my face. But if you stand your ground and take out your gun, you’ll see them turn tail like the babies they are. I’d like to see how brave those hijackers would have been if the Twin Towers had hauled out an enormous fucking gun at them and shot those airplanes out of the sky with huge bullets, we’re talking big boys the size of actual cars. If only the Twin Towers hadn’t fallen victim to the left-wing propaganda that says it’s somehow wrong to protect yourself, maybe they’d still be around.
This is what steams me about these libs who want to take our guns away so bad. We know we live in a dangerous world. There are people out there who want to hurt us. Every one of us remembers where we were when we heard about those planes. We all remember the images of the World Trade Center in flames like it was yesterday. And yet those same people seem to forget that the Twin Towers had, like, a goddamn half hour of lead time where they could totally see those planes coming. Imagine if they had taken that chance to level a legally-obtained tactical rifle at those airplanes and defended themselves like is their right as Americans. Imagine if they just kablammoed the planes—right out of the damn sky. Bin Laden would look a damn fool. The anti-gun nutjobs wouldn’t be laughing then, I can tell you: they’d be too busy thanking god the Twin Towers had a gun and stopped 9/11.
As if that weren’t enough, it seems like we still haven’t learned our lesson. Fifteen years after 9/11 and loony libs keep saying we need to have less guns! Are they crazy? I mean, look at that facts. Take a look at our country’s major skyscrapers: The Empire State Building. The Sears Tower. Whatever’s in Los Angeles. NOT ONE of them is armed. Not one rifle, shit, not even a kicky little sidearm. Have we learned a single lesson from 9/11? Can we afford to not defend ourselves? The answer is no. I won’t feel safe until every man, woman, child, building, and natural structure is packing some appropriately-scaled heat. And if you don’t agree, all you need to do is think about 9/11. Think about the Towers that could still be standing today if they had a gun.
Tom Harrison thinks that if these gun manufacturers were real patriots, they’d be making building-sized guns already.
image by Chet Saltpeter