9 Guns That Make You Less Of A Pussy

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Let’s face it. Guns don’t kill people. People… are pussies until they get guns. Here are nine guns that might just make you less of a puss puss.

 

1. Derringer Pistol

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“Sic semper my huge dong, ladies!”

 

2. Any Machine Gun

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FACT: All fully automatic weapons come with your own bangin’-hot babe who wants to live with you in Mom’s basement, because you’re definitely not a pussy.

 

3a. Glock

Glock

Are you a misunderstood sad boy? Then grab this gun made for a man who could maybe get laid if stupid fucking girls would just give you a chance.

 

3b. Bushmaster Assault Rifle

Bushmaster

Put this gun down only if you want to risk going back to being a huge, worthless pussy.

 

4. Red Rider BB Gun

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When you were six years old you were probably a bed-wetting pussy. Then you got your first bb gun it was “Goodbye, pee boy” and “Hello, dry undies gun man!”

 

5. Something That’s Not A Little Lady Gun

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Play it safe. Leave your wife’s lil’ popgun in her purse to make sure no one thinks you’re a P-U-S-S-Y.

 

6. Any Gun Used By Any Street Gang

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It’s scientifically impossible to terrorize your own community if you’re a pussy.

 

7. Nukes

Nukes

It’s how America gets so many BJs, FJs, APJs and all the Js.

 

8. Cop Guns

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He said don’t move, you blinking pussy!

 

9. Any Gun That Gets You Elected

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Never vote for a candidate until you have visual confirmation that he (… or she) is not a pussy.

 

Andrew Voris shoots his mattress with an uzi every time he pees the bed.

Images by Pete Souza, counterculturenews, infowars, Chris Yarzab, kevin, TRF_Mr_HYDE, VOA, Ken Lunde, jtjersey, texasscribbler, wikimedia, backbreaker