TO CATCH A TO CATCH A PREDATOR CAUSES STIR IN PRIME TIME

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By: Ross Kelly

    A new show, to air sometime this fall, is turning quite a few heads. The group that was previously targeted by the popular NBC television series To Catch A Predator is attempting to flip the script. To Catch A To Catch A Predator targets Chris Hansen and his film crew as they hunt potential sex offenders.
    The show begins in a similar manner; with a chat room conversation. “It’s really funny to watch these infuriated perverted justice volunteers try to talk like a 13-year-old girl,” says one of the To Catch A To Catch A Predator  “Baiters”, who wished to remain nameless. The whole operation begins with the “Baiter”. He enters the chat room and acts like a sexual predator. “I will say something like, ‘lol R u N 2 older men?’ or ‘Can u c my cam? I wanna show u my P-ner.’ If they respond with something like, ‘y don’t u just cum over. my parents r gon for tha summer and i just spillz diet coke all over my keyboard,’ you know you have them in the palm of your hand,” the “Baiter” explains. The meeting is set for Two weeks later in order to get the jump on Chris Hansen and his crew.


    Once the hook is set, so to speak, and a meeting time is established, the rod is passed to the intelligence department, otherwise known as the “Get Insider.” This guy stakes out the location and makes sure Chris Hansen and his crew are involved. He approaches the designated meeting house One week prior to the designated meeting. If he is able to have sex with a minor, they know Chris Hansen was not involved and it is back to the drawing board. If, however, the house is empty, they know it’s time to get their stingers ready. The “Get Insider” sexts headquarters to let them know it’s on.
    “The most important thing is that the To Catch A To Catch A Predator van is there before the To Catch A Predator van,” says Marcus Silly, the To Catch A To Catch A Predator creator and executive producer. “If they get there first, we have to walk away. And then all that work was for nothing,” Silly says.

Pictured: Marcus Silly

    On the day of the meeting, look-outs, or “Peeping Toms”, are set in all directions. “Manpower is no problem. There are always volunteers willing to participate,” claims Silly. When the To Catch A Predator van is spotted, the crew puts their ghillie suits on and gets in place. By this time, they already have a handy cam in the house where Marcus Silly waits for Chris Hansen to arrive.


    Then comes the moment of truth. The To Catch A Predator crew meets the To Catch A To Catch A Predator crew. “What are you doing here, Hansen?”, quips Silly. “Motherfucker,” replies Hansen. Silly lets out a Maria Sharapova-style grunt as he slaps Hansen in the neck. Chris Hansen and his crew make a break for the To Catch A Predator van, which is being rammed by the To Catch A To Catch A Predator van. The camouflaged ghillies awaken and attack the crew. Silly comes flying out of the house, screaming like Jamie Lee Curtis, and slaps Hansen in the neck. It is a bench-clearing brawl. The To Catch A To Catch A Predator crew are seemingly fighting for their lives. The ghillie suits seem to be more of a hinderance now that they are no longer hiding. A couple of them even get their tassels entangled a la The Three Stooges.
    It is not long before the majority of the To Catch A To Catch A Predator guys are on the ground. A couple of them are throwing up. Silly has been chased into the van by Hansen. Just as the To Catch A To Catch A Predator van starts to pull away, leaving Four crew members behind, the police arrive. The van crashes into a tree and the passengers make a brief attempt to flee, but are easily apprehended. Silly tries to bite a police officer and is immediately shot with a taser gun. The crew is hauled away in a paddy wagon and the To Catch A Predator gang calls it a day.
    To Catch A To Catch A Predator is slated to premier September 14, 2011 on the internet around 7pm.

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