Congressman Wu Reportedly “Devastated” That Teen Won’t Text Back After Sex Scandal



Rep. David Wu (D-OR) resigned from Congress on Tuesday after reports of a sex scandal with a teen broke.  The bad news did not stop there for the former Congressman. According to the father of the teen, a lifelong friend of Wu, the teen involved in the sex scandal reportedly wants nothing to do with Wu. 

“I think the best thing to do for both parties is to just pretend like this never happened and hope that it doesn’t have any long term effects on the impressionable teen… I mean, my daughter,” said the girl’s father in an interview. 

“It’s actually pretty awkward.  I mean on one hand, he had sex with my daughter, an innocent teen who simply didn’t know better and was taken advantage of by an adult, but on the other hand, he’s a Congressman and I kind of expected this.”  

Former Congressman Wu still seems upset from the rejection of the teen, and hopes the two can work out an agreement where he has sex with her and she doesn’t tell anyone.  ”I tried everything…” said Wu, “I text her every hour and let her know how much I care about her and how much I don’t want the details of our relationship to come out, and she just ignores me.  It devastates me to think everyone could learn the details of a romance we shared.” Despite Wu’s desperate pleas for love, the teen continues to ignore him, ”I gave up my seat in Congress for her.  Do you know how hard it is to get laid by teenagers without a seat in Congress?  It’s almost impossible.”