You can’t afford to not be at work even when you’re on vacation. You’ve tried to tell your boyfriend this multiple times. It’s a competitive world out there and when you work with sneaky mcsneakersons like your coworker Debra, you can’t afford to not be on call all the time. There’s nothing more you would love than to log off, unplug, disconnect your wifi and reconnect with him, but you’re a boss bitch climbing up the big dicks of a corporate ladder that the white man built. It’s a tough world. He’ll never understand. So, here are seven great destinations to take your computer on, I mean your boyfriend on. I mean computer.
1. Mauritius Island, Africa
You absolutely won’t want to check your email at all here. I mean, look at this beautiful view! It’s so relaxing you almost forgot that your co-worker Debra is still at work today probably whispering to your boss how you should be fired for indulging yourself. Your boyfriend won’t mind if you stay in the room this afternoon to finish up a bit of work.
2. Maldives, Sri Lanka
The Maldives is known for its Buddhist movement in 12th century AD. You can channel your inner Buddha and breathe here. Relax. Rekindle the calmness and love in your relationship, but not so calm that you forget there is hustle happening back at work, people (that snake in the grass, Debra) trying to angle for your position. You better do some work, your boyfriend will understand.
Like the faeries, lepruchans, and old Irish folklore of this scenic, majestic land, your job security is also an illusion that can quickly vanish with time. You’ve probably gotten greedy and took too many of your vacation days and now they stopped mentioning your name in casual conversation around the office. Debra remembers you, though, and she’s going to make certain everyone else forgets. Your boyfriend won’t mind if you use the wifi hot spot in your rental car to do your work. You two haven’t spoken in a while, but he’s always understood your career dreams.
This beautiful land boasts a wealth of history, a rich sense of art and culture, and a female president! She probably never took a vacation. Bet she never had to work with a real bitch like Debra in her office, though. Your boyfriend will be fine with you staying four out of the five days of your vacation here with your computer in the hotel room. You guys never talk anymore anyway and when you do it’s always a fight with that one. You’re an American career girl! You can’t help it!
5. Paris, France
Ah, oui! Oui! The city that love built. A great place you to travel with your boyfriend or a similar loved one like your laptop, seeing as you and your boyfriend are on a “break” and all. He’ll come around. You needed time to figure out how to really focus anyway. Show everyone that no one really needs Debra, she’s a disposable employee at best. You can work remotely from Paris and work harder than she ever has for the company. Besides, Paris is an excellent place to take your laptop! So many lovely cafes filled with charming French people who are just relaxing and enjoying themselves.
6. Your Own Neighborhood
Nahh, yeah, travelling is very overrated much of the year. Just stay at home, save some money, use the wifi you have available already. You’re winning at life, remember. Debra may have gotten that promotion, but everyone knows it was a pity promotion. “Just take some time off,” they told you when you found out and had a slight meltdown in the break room, “Spend some time on yourself and relax with your loved ones.” So, the neighborhood is great. A stay-cation they call it! How delightful! A great opportunity to explore the neighborhood alone and crying, because your boyfriend is no longer returning calls or texts.
7. Just Stay In Your Room And Turn Off All The Lights. Darkness.
You’ve lost everything. Your boyfriend. Your job. The only thing left in life is your laptop. You scroll through different screen saver options to get some relief from the reality of life. You could really use a vacation.
Calle Hack is a wi-fi connection away from happiness.
Images by wikimedia.