Local Anarchist Co-Op Sure Has A Lot Of Goddamn Rules


EUGENE, Ore. – Two weeks after moving into Chaostopia, a local anarchist co-op, Murray Bookchin is mulling a departure, citing the group’s staggering number of regulations.

“10 hours of chores a week, everyone helps with the cooking, no peeing in the living room,” said Bookchin. “It’s like living under Pol flipping Pot, man.”

“Last week, I started a tiny bonfire in the living room, and everyone got their panties in a bunch,” said Bookchin. “Well, no one wears underwear, but you get my point.”

On its website, Chaostopia claims to offer a haven for “liberated minds” looking to “escape the oppression of our over-governed police state.” But the co-op also notes that “the floors have to be swept, too.”

When asked to respond to Bookchin’s complaints, Earth Soil, the leader of Chaostopia, told reporters to “swallow their fascist pens,” then apologized, noting that dish duty makes him “really cranky.”

John Clark applied to join Chaostopia, but the board of directors said his credit score was too low.

Photo courtesy of some profit-mongering capitalist who uses arbitrary copyright laws to collect rent in perpetuity for 15 seconds of low-quality work.