Man In Wheelchair Really Loves America For Some Fucking Reason


AMERICA – A man in a wheelchair sitting at the corner of Main Street and Oak had two American flags attached to the back of his chair, carried a third, and was wearing a red, white, and blue t-shirt with a bald eagle face airbrushed on the front – an ensemble that, when taken as a whole, gave the distinct impression that, for whatever goddamn reason, this dude totally loved America.

He did not appear to be asking for handouts or donations, but neither was he attempting to cross the street when the lights changed. He just sat on the corner, looking off into a far horizon through wrap-around shades. It was not particularly near any major holidays, nor did there seem to be any specific person, business, or cause that he was either celebrating or protesting. The man displayed neither direct evidence of having served in our military or of being clinically bananas, however both would be seen as reasonable guesses in regards to what all was going on over there.

The man had not moved in any way for several streetlight cycles, but then, as the sun was setting behind the mountains, he stood up from the wheelchair, took a flute from out of his fannypack, and played a haunting rendition of “America the Beautiful” while weeping openly.

David Sharp is Senior Ambiguous Patriotism Reporter for The Whiskey Journal and is taking things slow right now, nationalism-wise.

Photo courtesy of Ivan McClellan