Neil deGrasse Tyson Joins Dancing With The Stars, Thinking It’s Stars Not ‘Stars’

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NEW YORK –  Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson revealed today that he’ll reluctantly be joining the cast of “Dancing with the Stars.”

“It just slipped my mind that the word ‘stars’ can mean Andy Dick and not a massive luminous sphere of gas held together by it’s own gravity,” said deGrasse.

ABC announced that deGrasse (the coolest and hippest scientist since Bill Nye according to Cool Hip Scientist Monthly) will be dance partners with Arianna Huffington, and he’s very concerned that the new gig will tarnish his hip, cool scientist image.

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“I fucking love distant floating balls of gas,” he continued. “If someone offered you the chance to dance with one, would you just say no like a big fucking idiot? Probability says you wouldn’t.”

Tim Barnes served as choreographer for three seasons of “Dancing with the Stars, Not ‘Stars’”

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Tim Barnes is TWJ's Senior Post Racial Correspondent. He's an L.A. born Chicago based comic who’s writing about himself in the third person right now. The Chicago Tribune described him as “a smooth wordsmith who is sharp, polished and confident…” He hosts TouchVision TV's weekly conversational storytelling podcast, "It’s All True!" (photo credit: Honk Honk Photography)