Breaking Bad Season 6 Spoilers!

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WARNING: EXTREME SPOILER ALERT – PLOT POINTS AHEAD!

A treasure trove of Season 6 scripts and plot notes has been leaked to the press by an AMC insider, revealing the fate of Walter White, Jesse Pinkman, and the rest of the characters in the Badiverse. Later this season:

-Walt becomes a vegan.

-Rob Schneider has a 3-episode arc as a Mexican gardener that culminates in his being hilariously devoured alive by a pack of pit bulls.

-Skyler disapproves of one of Walter’s choices.

-Rob Stark, his mother, and their attending servants and soldiers are killed the night of Edmure Tully and Roslyn Frey’s wedding.

-Walter lets Jesse’s junkie girlfriend choke on her own vomit and die instead of saving her.

-Walt and Jesse adopt a loveable inner city orphan named Jackie Patches and teach the precocious ragamuffin how to cook up the purest glass in Albuquerque. Skyler smothers him to death with a pillow in the penultimate episode.

-There is a fundamental limit to the precision with which certain pairs of physical properties of a particle can be known simultaneously.

-The one who knocks turns out to be the UPS Guy.

-Everybody gets cancer except for Walt.

-The final episode concludes with Walter and Jesse enjoying the success of their new artisanal cupcake truck. Walter says “looking good, Jesse.” and Jesse says “Feeling good, Walter,” and they toast with cream cheese-frosted red velvet minis as the credits roll over Bruce Springsteen’s “Born to Run”.

-Everything turns out pretty ok for everyone.

Season 6, Episode 2 “Buried” airs on Sunday, September 8th; production has already begun on Season 7.

Photo courtesy of izzybones

David Sharp is Senior Spoiler for the Whiskey Journal and has seen three full episodes of Breaking Bad.