New Boyfriend Establishes Crediblity With Well Placed 90s Reference


BUFFALO, N.Y. — At a get-together Saturday evening new boyfriend of Kelly Hutchence Owen Conklin used a 1990s reference to firmly establish his credibility as an adequate romantic partner and social equal among the extended circle of Hutchence’s friends, sources reported.

It was during a conversation about the partygoers’ frustrating day jobs that Conklin, 30, saw a window of opportunity and seized it with electrifying results.

“At first we were unsure about this new guy of Kelly’s cause she usually dates pretty lame dudes,” said Daryn Rocci, 31. “But then Owen made a joke about Kelly’s boss being ‘a total Gunther,’ who was the creepy manager of The Central Perk coffee shop where they all hung out on Friends.

“So I think he’s a great match for Kelly,” added Rocci.

“Damn, this guy’s good,” said Dale Lucas, 28, while grabbing a Labatt out of the fridge. “Word is he does a mean Spin Doctors if we head out to do some karaoke later.”

“I just overheard him say we should dust off that Sega console in the corner and play some Mortal Kombat,” whispered Neysa Wright, 29. “Total. Keeper.”

“This one hurts a little,” admitted Hutchence’s former paramour Rylan Hoffstetter who lost his credibility eleven months ago when he failed to recognize a reference to The X-Files. “I hoped whoever she dated next would be a boring, lamestream type but unfortunately for me this new dude is legit.”

Sources indicated that Hutchence first became interested in Conklin after discovering Facebook pictures from last Halloween where he was dressed as a Nickelodeon Guts contestant wearing a Charlotte Hornets Starter jacket.

Cole Moser is The Whiskey Journal’s v-necked, late twenties loft party correspondent.
Image by Leesean