Tyra Banks Tattoos Cover Of 1997 Sports Illustrated On Lower Back


LOS ANGELES — As a recent act of self-artistry Tyra Banks accentuated her exquisite lower back with a freshly inked image of her Sports Illustrated modeling debut.

“This is truly for my girls, the ladies I continually seek to inspire with constant reminders  that with the right genes, Olympian eating and exercise habits, a surplus of sugar daddies, and sufficiently less time dedicated to deep creative interests, they might someday find themselves able to achieve a similar level of power and beauty that I possess,” said Banks.

When questioned about her image choice she admitted previous consideration to re-enacting her America’s Next Top Model “fat suit,” that way she could imprint a concrete reminder of her down-to-earth attitude.

“In all honesty, I feel a bit guilty about setting my image up as an aspiring example,” Banks confessed. “Expecting other women to reach my level is a bit impossible considering the effervescence that is exclusive to my being.”

Tyra also informed press that she is instating a new deal in which any time a fan gets a “Church of Tyra” tattoo, she’ll send them a free coffee table book of self-portraits.

Bronwyn Isaac plans to browse that coffee table book while brushing her teeth with hydrogen peroxide and crying deeply

Image by Joshua Abrams

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Bronwyn Ariel Isaac is a retired bridge troll who currently resides in laundromats all over Chicago (primarily Pilsen/Little Village). She attended The School of the Art Institute of Chicago for writing right before the United States fully transformed into a bad 1950s sitcom. You can occasionally spot her in public telling edgy puns, reading poetry/essays out loud, pretending to do stand up comedy, and pouring out the remaining crumbs of her soul to complete strangers.