Cool Dad Now Has 9 Fingers

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NAPERVILLE, Ill. — Local cool dad Eric Klein now has just nine fingers following a firework-filled Independence Day celebration with his family and remaining friends that ended in bloodshed.

“I wanted to show my kids a fireworks show they’d never forget,” Klein said, staring down at his newly severed finger. “Which I probably could have done without blowing my index finger off with a cherry bomb, but this is the way the cookie crumbled.”

Klein was quickly rushed to an area hospital where he was treated and released later that day.

“I’ve seen an injury like this literally every 4th of July since I’ve been working here at Edward Hospital,” said Dr. Jane Lingafelter. “Some hip dad from the suburbs has one too many Bud Light Limes and thinks it’s a great idea to start lighting off those fireworks he bought in Indiana.”

Friends and family of Klein said the 43-year-old dad remained in good spirits following the injury, making several “pull my finger” jokes. At one point, Klein even made some Def Leppard jokes that were over his kids’ heads.

Kyle Scanlan reminds you that you don’t need to wind back and throw those cherry bombs your friend brought over, just shovel pass them.