House Approves Bill To Turn Basement Into Rec Room

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BRIDGEPORT, Conn. — The Landry family has been pushing for a finished basement for seven years. They say putting drywall and insulation down there would greatly reduce their utility bills. It would also allow them to put a little ambiance around their pool table such as a wet bar and a flat-screen TV with a Nintendo Wii. “This pool table was given to us by my father-in-law three years ago. But it looks terrible sitting in an unfinished basement. I want to be able to relax down there, or have a party, or watch a game,” says Bill Landry, the primary sponsor of the initiative.

The Landry family’s proposal was stalled twice over the last seven years due to the house expressing concern that “these ‘improvements’ will likely involve compromising the structural integrity of an already unstable foundation.”

The house agreed to Bill’s renovations Monday on the condition that the house will have the ultimate say on which contractor is used. “I’ve dealt with Bills like this before,” says the house. “What this Bill wants to do is make life more convenient with no consideration for the future of the house.”

Pending the selection of a reputable contractor, the Landry family hopes to begin renovations by mid-May, and have everything completed by the end of June. “This is going to be better for everyone, especially the house. We already have color schemes picked out and everything,” claims Landry.

Ross Kelly is The Whiskey Journal’s foremost authority on government