Baseball Player Misreads Signs, Asks Third Base Coach to Dinner

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DES MOINES, IA – Thanks to a humiliating error on the basepaths Tuesday night, Iowa Cubs outfielder Brett Jackson was left scrambling for alternative weekend plans, according to reports.

After eying a series of signs from third base coach Mike Adams, Jackson left his position at second base, sprinted towards the coach, and recommended a “great seafood place in Davenport.”

Adams, miffed by Jackson’s advances, waved his hands in denial, as an opponent tagged the disappointed outfielder, who was later embraced by friends in the dugout.

“He gave the ‘steal’ sign, then pointed to his chest,” said Jackson, holding back tears. “I thought he meant I’d captured his heart. It was an honest mistake.”

“Not sure where he got that idea,” disputed Adams. “But runners are all the same—they think every sign means more than it does.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I really like Brett,” said Adams. “I just think it’s better when we hang out with a large group of people.”

Since the incident, Adams has been reluctant to wave runners home. Instead, he’s insisted that runners stop between second and third base, which has crippled the team’s offense.

John Clark wants to remind Brett that he’s young, successful, and handsome, and there are plenty of other third base coaches who would love to take him to dinner. 

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