How many times have you asked yourself, “did he just say what I think he said mean what I thought it meant?” Too many. The minds at Shirley’s Temple starved themselves long into the night to come up with an answer for you. And have we got the skinny! Remember, it’s just like your mom said, guys are shy too, so here’s the 411 on his most DL come-ons:
1) “Excuse me.”
Sure he didn’t make eye contact. Sure he kind of shoved you out of the way as he walked past. Sure you’ve never even met him before. But that disturbed backward glance he shot you as you stared hot wet daggers into the back of his head? That’s not fear, it’s the fear of losing you!
2) “Are you in line?”
“…For my heart?” He might seem to be testily attempting to evaluate how much later you’re going to make him for work, but he’s really just using the opportunity to check out your bod. And, hello!? If you’re in the same line, how much do you already have in common? Like who really likes coffee AND bagels? Match. Made.
3) “I think you dropped this.”
OMG, he’s SO polite! This guy was raised right and he knows just how to treat a lady. You barely know each other from class and he’s already watching out for you. Can you say “provider?” It’s like your best friend Kath said, “how do you know he hasn’t been waiting for you to drop something for months just so he could talk to you?” And she’s been engaged twice.
4) “I’m sorry, I always forget your name.”
It’s not that he doesn’t WANT to remember your name or that you’re so insignificant in his life that he can’t even be bothered to recall five letters. It’s that his feelings for you are so raw right now that to remember your name would just be…overwhelming. He might explode. So give him some time. Gently remind him. And one day, he won’t just remember your name, but he’ll put the three most precious words a girl can hear right in front of it.
5) “You’re friends with my girlfriend, right?”
We know, what your thinking: “I am SO much better than his girlfriend, right?” Of course you are! And he knows it, this is just his way of saying it so that his girlfriend just 18” away won’t get her feelings hurt. What a sweetheart! But don’t get cocky just yet, this is the toughest DL come-on you’ll face. So here’s what you do: 1) harass one of his friends into giving you his number, but be cool, 2) go into the ladies room and take a bunch of selfies (don’t forget your ducklips!), and 3) text said selfies to him, one every ten minutes, for the rest of the night. Continue to do this for the next five days. If he’s not yours by the time the weekend rolls around again, he probably wasn’t actually interested and you’ve ruined a friendship.
Remember girls, just because he didn’t say he was remotely into you doesn’t mean he’s probably not!
Erin Zimmerman is the co-editor of Shirley’s Temple and is way too confident to understand anything she wrote in this article that she hopes you liked maybe, did you?