Music Producer Addicted To Chocolate As Racial Euphemism



NEW ORLEANS – After several attempts to shake his unhealthy habit, music producer Steve Johnson recently admitted that he’s addicted to using “chocolate” as a racial euphemism.

“I hang with black artists all day. So the temptation is always there,” said Johnson, a very pale man. “Especially when I worked with The Temptations.”

Johnson says he’s tried healthier racial euphemisms, like “people of color,” “ethnic minorities,” and “soulful ass dudes,” but he can’t shake his chocolate addiction.

While Johnson’s habit upsets some black co-workers, others sympathize with his struggles, noting that they fight similar cravings.

“I’ve been trying to avoid ‘crackers’ for months,” said Tiffany Jenkins, a sound technician. “But crackers are everywhere! And they’re so salty and crunchy. How am I supposed to stop?”

To help avoid crackers and chocolate, both Jenkins and Johnson have tried to eat more fruit. But Johnson claims, “it’s damn near impossible to find a fruit in the hip-hop industry.”

The pun party ended years ago, but John Clark refuses to leave.