Area Loafer Ponders Why Karma Has Rewarded Him With Addition Of Archer Season 3 On Netflix


Long Beach, CA – Brandon Tippes (31) grinned in the shower for nearly an hour early yesterday afternoon, wondering what he had done to deserve Netflix adding the third season of the animated sitcom Archer. Tippes, having believed in karma for weeks now, has been keeping diligent track of transgressions and good deeds. But, he just cannot seem to come up with what he did that would warrant such a reward.

“I know that everything happens for a reason,” says Tippes. “I read that in Richard Lawrence’s Little Book of Karma, which I got at my old work’s holiday party. I wish I had started reading it when I first got it, because it changes my life every page. I haven’t finished it yet, but I’m going to for sure.”

Having already attributed getting change for $20 instead of the $10 bill he paid with at the convenience store to his initiating a phone call to his parents, happening upon a half-off sale at the thrift store to letting a car merge in front of him, and a recent sexual experience to him educating his friends on what he learned from watching the documentary Tapped, which is about bottled water and its effects on our reliance on oil, the young man is at a loss.

“I love Archer so much. I just don’t know if Karma is messing with me, or what,” says Tippes, starting to tear up.

Tippes plans to continue “being stellar, and doing stellar things,” knowing that things will even out. “I guess I should be on the look-out for some sort of Karma punishment. I don’t really know how that works,” Tippes. 

Ross Kelly had a really hard time relating to this story.