NRA Launches Dating Site for Single Gunshots

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – To the dismay of its critics, the National Rifle Association has launched a dating website for single gunshots, according to a report from The Wall Street Scrapbook.

User profiles on the site, BallisticMatch.com, include requests for “single, bronze .22s, but only momentary smoking please!!,” and “someone with depth, not just another hollow point!”

Other gunshots advertise themselves as “dtf (down to fire),” and the most popular section of the site is a forum for older gunshots titled “Silver Bullets.” The most common interests include “physics,” “velocity,” and “gangsters’ butts.”

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Predictably, gun control advocates have criticized the site, claiming that the NRA shouldn’t encourage single gunshots to actively date.

In response, NRA President Wayne Frenchlastname argued that the website provides a “safe environment” for gunshots that otherwise would be “out on the streets, looking for love in dangerous places.”

Frenchlastname also reminded reporters that BallisticMatch.com warns users to “always use casings” and “never share a chamber with a stranger.”

This week, the NRA also announced its plans to create AK-Cupid.com, a dating site for Russian rifles, and Facebook.com, a social network solely reserved for heated conversations about gun control.

Follow @johnoftheclarks for more musings from a guy who finds BB guns “too heavy.”