CINCINNATI, Ohio — Local business owner Andy Kennedy announced Tuesday morning that his Thanksgiving-themed restaurant Turkey Time would be closing its doors for good just days before Thanksgiving.
“This is the worst week this could have happened, we were expecting to make 90% of our yearly earnings later this week,” said Kennedy. “Now we just have a Thanksgiving-themed restaurant that won’t be open on Thanksgiving.”
Experts speculate that the Thanksgiving-themed restaurant struggled to make a profit because a lack of demand throughout nearly the entire year, but Kennedy has a different theory: The name.
“The idea of this restaurant is genius. Think about it, if you’re in the mood for a Thanksgiving dinner, we’re the only Thanksgiving-themed restaurant in the state, maybe even the world! But the name, Turkey Time? That’s what caused this bankruptcy. I should have went with Thankseating or Andy’s Thanksgiving Fun Center or TGIT (Thank God It’s Thanksgiving) or even Jive Turkey,” continued Kennedy.
At press time, Kennedy announced that all the concerts planned for this weekend in Turkey Time’s concert venue, Yams and Jams, were also canceled.