Nation Returns To Ignoring Homeless Veterans


NEW YORK, N.Y. – Exactly one day after Veteran’s Day, a day dedicated to honoring armed serviced veterans, the nation has returned to ignoring it’s estimated 70,000 homeless veterans, according to several sources.

“I wish there was more I could do to help out the less fortunate,” said 27-year-old real estate agent Chad David, as he walked past three homeless veterans on his way to work. ”But the great thing about America is that we have the ability here to work our way up from the bottom.”

Moments later, David explained to a homeless veteran he had just smoked his last cigarette. David went on to lecture the former war hero about how McDonald’s is always hiring.

In November of 2009, Secretary of Veterans Affairs Eric Shinseki revealed his department’s plan to end homelessness among veterans in the next five years at the “Veteran’s Affairs’ National Summit Ending Homelessness Among Veterans.” His roadmap has been scrutinized by citizens because it does not include a plan to move homeless people to a mysterious location where they can’t bother anyone eating brunch outside or sitting on a train. Because of this, the plan has gone unfinished, leaving thousands of veterans homeless.

Researchers estimate that homeless veterans make 40% less than their homeless neighbors holding a sign that reads “Why lie? I need a beer.”

Kyle Scanlan was too scared to join the military, so he’ll give you money.

Image by Aloma Anderson