Bruce Willis Denies Rumors That He Is Getting Older


HOLLYWOOD – Days before the release of his new action movie, Expendables 2, Bruce Willis is fighting off rumors that he is getting older.    

The 57 year old actor and father of four, said that “age is just a number” and then softly whispered “Yippee-Ki-Yay, Motherfucker” while chewing on a baby aspirin that is reportedly lowering his chance of a heart attack.  Willis, know for his roles in Die Hard (1988), The Fifth Element (1997) and Armageddon (1998), has been fighting off criticism from Hollywood for the last decade that he is too old to be in action movies.  One publication even went as far as to say, “the older Bruce Willis gets, the older he looks.”

Willis rebelled against the rumors and even tried to become a real life action hero himself.  In 2003, Willis proudly phoned President George Bush to tell him he was ready to enlist in the United States Army.  He was shocked when an aide at the White House told him: “Sorry, Bruce, you’re too old to enlist.”  Willis was so upset by this that he spent the next fours hours driving around in his car with the blinker on.  

“I don’t understand what everyone is talking about.  I’m just as young today, as I was when I made Die Hard.  Nothing has changed.  I’m still the same young guy who eats apple sause everyday and suffers from uncontrollable flatulence,” said Willis.


Written by Kyle Scanlan

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