Superhero Reboots to Get Reboot


LOS ANGELES, Cali. — In the wake of a Summer featuring a Spider-Man reboot, the announcement of yet another Superman reboot, and the conclusion of perhaps the greatest superhero reboot in history with the finale of the Dark Knight trilogy, Hollywood has decided that superhero reboots will get a reboot, starting over from scratch the idea of how to start a character from scratch.

The reboot reboot comes in the wake of audiences seemingly growing weary of the reboot formula. “The Dark Knight trilogy is the nadir of gritty reboots.” Wrote A.O. Scott in a recent New York Times column, “After this, where else is there to go? The idea of getting back to what made a character great in the first place needs to be taken back to its origins to see what made that idea great in the first place.”

This Summer’s “Amazing Spider-Man” is being viewed as a box-office success, however many audience members have voiced surprise that Marvel comics decided to reboot a franchise that had already been rebooted not that long ago, replacing Toby Maguire’s big wet eyes with Andrew Garfield’s big dumb head. “Didn’t I just watch Uncle Ben die, like, a few years ago?” Questioned Los Angeles Times film Critic Kenneth Turran, “The formula of recycling plots from the early issues of the comic book series, dressing the hero in a darker-colored costume, and having them talk in a low, growly voice has gotten old.  The idea of rebooting a franchise that has jumped the shark has jumped the shark… Incidentally, so has the expression ‘jumped the shark’” (although DC reportedly has a reboot of the expression currently in pre-production).

An unnamed Hollywood executive was quoted as saying, “Reboot… Reboot. Reboot. Reboot. I’ve said that word so many times it doesn’t even make sense to me any more…Reboot… Reboot… Reboot…Weird. Anyhow, what I’m saying is we’re out of new ideas.”

Reporting by David Sharp. Twitter: DavidAndSharp