ORLANDO, Fla. – The Dwight Howard saga finally comes to a close in Orlando, as 6 NBA teams have agreed to give up all of their players and 36 total draft picks to get Dwight Howard’s newspaper by mistake tomorrow.
The teams hope that by getting Dwight’s newspaper by mistake, they will each have an opportunity to plead their case as to why Dwight should even consider playing for them while returning Dwight’s paper to him.
“It just makes sense..” said Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert, “I didn’t think twice about trading all of our players. It’s almost a 17% chance of getting to have an organic conversation with Dwight Howard about playing for our team.”
The trade includes the Nets, Cavs, Bobcats, Timberwolves, Rockets and everyone on the Pistons except veteran center Ben Wallace, who has been declared “too old to move anywhere”.
This trade happened shortly after the Magic declined a trade from the Nets, where the Nets agreed to murder everyone they have ever met in exchange for the chance to be in the same elevator as Dwight Howard.
The 6 teams involved in the trade plan to wear something comfortable, like a robe, during their conversation with Dwight Howard. The deal becomes official on Wednesday.
Written by Kyle Scanlan
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