Is there somebody on your Christmas gift list who doesn’t own M:i:III? Hard to imagine but if so, you need to read this.
1. Mission: Impossible 3 on Blu-ray. This should be obvious. Your friend or loved one doesn’t yet own Mission: Impossible 3. I don’t why this is even an issue. This person doesn’t yet own M:i:III on Blu-ray, and this holiday season is the perfect time to remedy that. It’s peak Tom Cruise, features a great performance by the late Phillip Seymour Hoffman, and is easily the best in the series.
2. Why are you still reading this? Just go out and buy them Mission: Impossible 3 on Blu-ray. I mean, come on. You’re wasting both of our time. They don’t yet own Mission: Impossible 3 on Blu-ray, so just give them the gift of the expertly-paced, J.J. Abrams-helmed action masterpiece.
3. Oh, your friend doesn’t own a Blu-ray player? Is that the problem? Not anymore! Here’s what you do, step one is you go out and buy them a Blu-ray player. Have you seen the prices of those things lately? They’ve gotten very inexpensive. They’ll be so excited. A lot of folks have the impression that quality doesn’t matter when it comes to home media. Those people are idiots. Don’t let the fact that you’re watching it on a smaller screen mean you should sacrifice image and sound quality. Streaming is great, but the only way to really make those visuals pop is with a Blu-ray player. When they say that they don’t have any Blu-rays to watch on it, that’s when step two comes into play. You pull out a copy of Mission: Impossible 3 on Blu-ray and really blow their fucking mind.
4. Mission: Impossible 3 on DVD. Because DVD is just as good as Blu-ray right? WRONG! You know how many lines of resolution it takes to fully enjoy Mission Impossible 3? All of them. So quit being such a cheap piece of shit, prove that you really love them. They’re going to have this copy of Mission: Impossible 3 for the rest of their lives, so you might as well go all in.
5. The Mission: Impossible Boxed Set. This is a great gift idea for those who not only don’t own Mission: Impossible 3 but don’t own any of the Mission: Impossible series. This will give those folks access to all of special agent Ethan Hunt’s many adventures. And then they can then take all of the films in the series that aren’t Mission: Impossible 3, throw them away, and watch Mission: Impossible 3 over and over.
6. The Bourne Identity on Blu-ray. It’s a solid film. Not anywhere near the level of M:i:III, but still. This is a great gift for someone who doesn’t own Mission: Impossible 3 on Blu-ray, but you don’t love enough to buy Mission: Impossible 3 on Blu-ray for.
7. Mission: Impossible 3 on HD DVD. We all know “that guy.” You know, the one who adopted HD DVD early on in the format wars and is so stubborn that they refuse to admit that they’d made a mistake. They’re of course wrong as Blu-ray is here to stay, but that doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t be able to enjoy Keri Russell’s heart-wrenching performance with better sound and in full 1080p.
8. A desktop zen garden. Perhaps you know someone who has seen Mission Impossible 3 on Blu-ray, but says they don’t really like it. You probably should consider cutting that person out of your life, because it’s awesome. If you’re not ready to get rid of them consider buying them one of those stupid desktop zen gardens. This will give that person a chance to free their mind, relax, and wonder what went wrong in their life that makes them reject joy.
9. Mission: Impossible 3: Music from the Original Motion Picture Soundtrack. People are very busy these days, and you can’t always be watching Mission: Impossible 3, but even then you want to be reminded that Mission: Impossible 3 is at home waiting for you in your (new?) Blu-ray player. For times when you can’t be home with Mission: Impossible 3, it’s nice to have Mission: Impossible 3 with you.
10. Jack Reacher on Blu-ray.
Adam Sokol better not hear shit about you not owning Edge of Tomorrow.
Image by evilryu666.